thoughts

I felt like I received that, not from the person I talked to but more from myself because of their answers. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but I am content because I said everything I needed to. I would have regrets if they never knew how their presence affected me. Now I am mature enough to move on. I’m glad I was able to receive closure upon my confession. I will no longer have to think about it again or dwell on those moments. I don’t have any regret.

I know someone who died. Not just know them, but someone who has slept over at my house, and who I know personally. It’s real, but unreal at the same time because I haven’t seen physical evidence. It’s unreal to know I can claim something like that, not that anyone would want to, I just never thought I would know someone who was close to my family, who won’t be coming over to visit anymore.

I wonder how hopeless someone must feel to want to commit suicide, and then to actually do it. I feel sad knowing that as my brother’s high school graduation is approaching, that I know someone who won’t ever be able to walk across the stage to get his dipoloma. Who won’t ever go to college, or fall in love, or have kids. 

I know that we can’t choose our parents, but it saddens me more to know that even though a person may not experience what ‘home’ feels like, or the meaning of ‘safe’ knowing you are loved by your parents… it’s even more heartbreaking to know that they left this earth without at least experiencing the love of Christ. I feel so sad knowing that they were someone who could be my brother, and in some ways, was like a brother to me.

• Observations write up 
• Clinical reflection
• Physical assessment write up
• Work on my section of the ethics project
• High school reunion dinner!!!!!!

I survived another week. Only 3 more weeks until I complete my junior year!!!!! The funny thing is, I haven’t even signed up for Fall classes yet. Whatevs. 

But I can do it. I don’t have to depend on my own strength. I know the Lord will carry me :)